On the back of my double page spread in last week's Daily Maul (they definitely digitally disenhanced me by adding extra lines to my face and neck) I appeared on This Morning this morning.
God! Phillip Schofield is utterly butterly gorgeous and even though I don't normally go for anyone over the age of 33 (except CC... keep reading The Daily Male to find out who he is) I could definitely have had Phil washed and brought to my tent. He was wearing about four inches of pancake make-up hence the cleansing requirement, but talk about scrummy! Even more entertaining was the fact that he was so shocked by the contents of my book 'The Toyboy Diaries', he held it as if it were about to go off in his hand! He'd planned on reading some excepts on air, but couldn't find anything clean enough.
Apparently there's sex every four pages, according to my publisher. When I heard that, even I was shocked and I wrote the bloody thing. Of course the research was a dirty, filthy job...but somebody had to do it.
When I got home, I had fan mail from all over the country! Men and boys sitting at home watching daytime TV found me 'alluring' and 'delectible' (sic). It does make me sic when people can't spell but hey...nice to get the compliments.
Following the programme, and Phillip's squirming sexual discomfort at having such a sexy guest on his sofa, he kindly held the book cover full on to camera for the longest time, which caused my Amazon sales ranking to shoot up to 36!!! That was just below Katie Price at 35 which means that for today at least, I'm nearly as famous as Jordan! How cool is that??
And I have normal size tits, which may or may not be relevant at this point...