THE DAILY MALE - continues...

I wake up to the Kosher Kid again with a text describing another one of his dirty little wet wanks.

'You are hilarious...' I reply '...and it’s not outside the realms of possibility that one day, or night, your dreams may come true!'

Not exactly treating ‘im mean, but certainly keeping ‘im keen.

My Little Ponytail texts to confirm tonight. Him being half Turkish ‘n all, I make some crack about looking forward to savouring some Turkish Delight. He says he doesn’t like it, but he is prepared to ‘endoulge’ me (sic) if I fancy some. Yum!

I marinate the prawns in chilli, garlic, olive oil, ginger and spring onion and get into the shower. I scrub my hands clean lest I inadvertently scratch my needy itch with my chilli-infested fingers.

The Rugby Player texts to say he cannot get my pressie in the post today but will do so on Monday. Like I giveashit. I reply that I shall eagerly await the postman adding ‘He always rings twice, you know.’

A girlfriend phones to say she’s just dumped her boyfriend after a year. This means there’s another girlfriend to go around with when the famine kicks in. Which it will…it will…

Sunday. MLP and I suddenly seem to be in a relationship. I have no idea how this has happened. Last night he cooked for me, and we had a wonderful evening and a heavenly night together. The sex is electric, his body strong, hard and firm. He has the most delicious buttocks ever...I can’t keep my hands off them.

I sat astride him this morning and gave him a sensual massage then I covered myself with a baby oil and we slithered all over each other making a hideous mess of my very expensive Egyptian cotton sheets. Lovely!

We got up and showered and I put some slap on and made him a full English breakfast. I changed the bed while he cleared up and we then went for a romantic walk in the park, bought the Sunday papers and laid around reading them in The Elgin (where I’d met the Kosher Kid a few nights before.)

MLP managed to read, snack and drink coffee while never breaking physical contact with me. I love this a lot. He is exhibiting demonstrative PDAs with a woman old enough…..well let’s not even go there.

Monday. Sometimes I feel like a Barbie doll. Tonight I am Yoga Barbie and tomorrow I’ll be Posh Barbie (who goes to the theatre and out to dinner with Antique Ken). During the day, I’m Street Barbie (who tucks her jeans into her boots and hunts for treasure round the antique markets) and here comes Cockney Barbie (who drops her aitches and says ‘innit’ when she’s in the company of MLP, aka Geezer Ken).