Thursday. I resist texting MLP but by 1 p.m. I lose the fight:
‘Be good to feel your arms around me and my legs around you again soon’.
I don’t hear back from him at all. What a slap in the face that is! Not all day and not all night so I text Finn again because I’m feeling lonely and abandoned.
He replies very keenly and after a few soul-searching seconds (that’s as long as it takes me to search my soul) I invite him over. The minute I’ve done it, I regret it so I rescind the invitation thereby driving the poor boy nuts.
At 11.45 p.m. Arrogant Rugby Player texts me from his chalet in the Alps to tell me his thighs are burning from a hard day’s ski-ing. Like I giveashit.
This is the first full day since MLP and I met that we have not had contact. He does have a propensity to leave his mobile phone in odd places, and I console myself with that thought. Also the fact that he could have lost it or had it stolen or emigrated to Tanzania without bothering to tell me.
I also remember that he is often out of credit and this affords me some modecum of comfort.
Friday. I wake up drowning in a well of loneliness. I wish I wasn’t so needy – for company, love, approbation, admiration. I need to work harder on making myself whole and strong on my own. All I want is someone to want me...It hardly seems to matter who any more...
If I don’t hear from MLP today, I shall...WHAT?
In a flash of inspiration, I 141 his mobile and it rings and rings before going to voice mail. Had he answered, that would have meant he was available to text or phone me and I would have wanted to know: Why hasn’t he?
I go about my busy day which ends with a deafening silence. Questions career around my head:
Where the fuck is he?
Should I phone him?
Is that ever a good idea?
Shouldn’t women always play hard to get?
Will I be damned if I do and damned if I don’t?
Why is this part always so terribly hard?
Answers on the Comments link PLEASE!