Thursday, 19 August 2010


I decided to take August off - off what I'm not certain - my life, perhaps?

I went to Spain as usual and then to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival which never fails to deliver an entertainment overload of mega proportions. Love it!!

Back to a very brutal reality concerning my dearest Aunty Betty, my last remaining aunt, who has been like a Mum to me. She's seriously ill now and my sister and I are trying to get her into a care home. This is NOT easy... Don't go there. Find some other route into that good night. It's not pretty, it's not sexy and it's not fun.

Apart from that, if you read my last blog, HE is still on the fringes of my social scene, but I HAVEN'T MET HIM YET! Had he told me at the outset that he was going to be 'away on business for an indefinitely period' I may not have bothered to get involved. Of course he could be emailing me from the back of a van on the Watford by-pass and forwarding his messages to 20 other women, whaddo I know??

When I got back from Spain, however, in a surge of generous attentiveness, the postman rang thrice: a bouquet of roses because I don't want you to come home to an empty flat , a gift box of luxury bath products something to work up a splash with and some naughty little scanties which, frankly, made me quite cross.

I thought it was presumptuous and rather tacky of him. He said it was meant in good humour but what offended me most was that the gear in question was from Ann Summers rather than Agent Provocateur, Myla or La Perla!

I did forgive him though putting it down to a cultural ignorance of our better lingerie emporia bearing in mind the gentleman in question is not from these shores.

I actually had to venture into the store later to change the basque for a larger size (the XS he sent me has me busting out all over) and so I had the dubious pleasure of queueing at the counter with a coterie of ladies buying work clothes for their chosen profession. This prompted me to ponder whether there was a sliding scale of charges based on the punters choice of Nadia the Naughty Nurse, Fifi the French Maid or Dagmar the Darstardly Dom.

And on the question of 'sliding', he'd better make an appearance soon or the chocolate body paint and Heat! massage oil he sent me is going to go off, or get used with someone else...


Wild Willie o' Orkney said...

Hi Honeyhead,
Yep,E'burgh Fest.was a hoot. (I went a week earlier to take in the Jazz n' Blues Fest. which was really great (particularly China Moses, blues singer) - and of course,Chris Barber, still blowing his horn at 80 as well as he did longer than I care to remember!
I wonder if you managed to catch 'Mrs Bang:A series of seductions in 55 minutes' at the Gilded Balloon? (you just might have picked up some useful material for your next 'blockbuster'!)Also Sandra Risser - 'American Cougar of Comedy'(tho' some of her gags went over the heads of a lot of folk at the performance I attended)I think my favourate tho' was the Cambridge Uni. Medics Revue:'The Exorcyst'(sic)- very nostalgic as well as being the usual uni rag stuff!
So sorry to hear about your Aunt Betty. Hope you've managed to get her into a decent nursing home, and agree 'tis NOT the sort of place I want to end my days in.(Would my kindly vet oblige, I wonder?)- She's assisted so many of my beloved cats into spirit sphere when their quality of life has deteriorated.
Last, (but not least!)What about HIM?? Has he appeared yet I wonder?
Least said about the underwear mode the better, methinks. Let's just hope HIS image is a tad better than his choice of supplier!
I think Winter has arrived here (We don't do Spring and Autumn in the Northern Isles!)Looks nice doon Sooth at the moment tho' - if you dodge the showers!
Fare thee well, Wonderous One!

Wendy Salisbury said...

Dearest Wills

Good to hear from you. I didn't get to see any of those EdFesters you mentioned but about 20 others - some brill, some turkeys.

The Aunty saga continues...thanks for asking.

As for HIM, he's still in the jungle or so he says. Funnily enough, I believe him. The messages are too convoluted to be untrue unless he has a fantastical imagination! I know we'll meet some time but meantime, my wacky world keeps turning.

Stay warm up there - time to get the long johns on, methinks - that's you, not me!!

W xx

Wild Willie o' Orkney said...

Beloved Wendy,

Good to hear from ye. (Thought you'd forsaken us and/or scrapped the blog because of all those weird calligraphers!)
Yeah, the Fringe has always been a bit of a 'Curate's Egg'in terms of the gigs, but ALWAYS great for meeting up with old friends - and meeting new ones!
Guess it's 'nose to the grindstone again' for you now? Hope your various projects are still progressing well. Any more news re the English version of your corrida novel being published?
Your personal life doesn't appear to be making much progress.Aunty Betty I'm sure must be taking top priority for you and sis at the moment.The word seems to be that personal recommendations are by far the best options rather than silky-tongued 'advisers', who like Estate Agents and some solicitors are really only after their commission/fee.
You've certainly given that guy a very long leash! Let's just hope he lives up to the build-up when you eventually get together!
Don't like Long Johns.Much prefer a nice hot woman to keep me warm! Must bring the light box down from the loft soon tho'- the nights are really drawing in up here (but magnificent sunsets)
Have a joyful Equinoxe.