CC and I reach his room simultaneously and sit down on the edge of his bed. We hug and kiss like tentative teenagers. He makes no demands or pressures on me; we just enjoy a shared feeling of togetherness and unity. No pulsing passion pushes us forward, just a soothing sense of satisfaction in the closeness of each other’s company.
A feeling of security wafts over me like a warm wind wafts over a lonely moor. With no words spoken, we lie down together and he wraps me in his arms, cradling my body and kissing me tenderly on my face and neck. The atmosphere in the room assumes a dream-like quality, the outside world and everything in it having disappeared under a blanket of freshly-fallen snow. All is silent save for our soft breathing and sweet sighs. Inside our private cocoon, I gaze up at him in wonder.
'I sometimes dream of just being held like this...' I whisper '...held by someone who cares enough about me not to want anything more.'
He gathers me closer and murmurs into my hair:
‘I can do that…’
A surge of true emotion, often concealed yet ever close to the surface, rises up in a racking sob and erupts in a shudder as I press my body deeper into his. I crush my head against his chest and we cling together rocking, like two lost souls riding a terrible storm. I feel vulnerable yet safe, safe and sheltered in his strong, protective arms.
Despite my slapper tendencies, I’m just a woman who wants to be loved. And like any other woman, I sometimes look for this love in all the wrong places…
The lazy afternoon drifts by unhurriedly as he calms me with his kisses, and our slow and subtle exploration of each other inevitably becomes more sexually charged.
With no need for question or answer, CC and I begin to undress each other, a mutual need now to be skin to skin. The gentleness of his touch takes my breath away, and he takes me to a place so blissful and serene, I want to stay there with him forever.
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure-dome decree...
If this is what he is offering, I accept it with all my heart, forsaking all others as long as we both shall live.
When he enters me, it’s like coming home and I welcome him with every fibre of my being.
We do not have sex. We make love.