Sunday 15 July 2012

50 SHADES OF SHUT IT!

If one more person says to me: "You could have written that - and better!" I shall have to thump them. "You think I don't know that?" I reply between gritted teeth.

It's like standing in the Royal Academy in front of a white canvas with a black dot in the middle that's been highly acclaimed by the (f)Art World as a tour de force.

The point about: "I could have done that..." is that you didn't. Someone else did and yes, I'm jealous as hell and want to scratch her eyes out then get hold of her credit card and pin number.

The zeitgeist of what's hot, what's not, what's coolish and what's foolish is that you just never know. Maybe 50 Shades of Beige - A Fashion Guide for the Dullhamshire Ladies Guild - would sell like hot cakes. But would I compromise my writing integrity and bash out a sleazy piece of shit-lit just to make a squillion quid? YES I WOULD.

As most writers of soft porn will tell you, it's not easy to get it right. Legs have to be placed just so, ditto, lips, hips, sighs and thighs. Good sex scenes are best expressed with a mélange of eroticism and vaguery. This is titilation not do-it-yourself gynaecology.

So no, in case you're wondering, I have not and will not read 50SOG. I downloaded a free sample onto my Kindle just to see what all the fuss was about and only because I value my e-reader did I not lob it against the wall.

And so I continue my struggle to write well while a fairly large part of me wishes I wrote less well but more lucratively!

3 comments:

John said...

Wendy,
Wonderful to have you back--but too late for me. Passed through your rather confused village twice during the last couple of weeks enroute to and from Cape Town. Was fortunate to be able to attend the Queen's dedication of the Bomber Command Memorial and the 2012 Flying Legends airshow--both smashing!

The California Boy

Wendy Salisbury said...

Thank you John. I feel guilty every day I don't blog - but I'm just so busy on other stuff and I hate Twitter!

My village is well confused as you so rightly say! Glad you had some good times here though.

Wild Willie o' Orkney said...

Yeah, sometimes I despair about the literary tastes of The Great British Public - but when it spreads worldwide,develops into a TRILOGY - and now talk of a film...!Of COURSE you could have made a better job of it!(maybe something in the genre of a Brit. Catherine Millet?)- But as you say.'tis done - eat yer heart out,Wendy!