Sunday. After a hurried breakfast, we all pile bleary-eyed into the coach and leave the resort at the crack of dawn. The Club Med staff stands sleepily on the roadway waving us goodbye, waiting to greet the next contingent. Hot Frog is not among them. He’ll be getting his beauty sleep, girding his loins for next week’s willing influx.
As we wind down through the mountains, a terrible pain tears through me like I’ve ripped the ligaments around my heart. The euphoria which has driven me through the week crashes to sea level, and a hollow feeling of aloneness assails me. Mine is a life of short-lived loves and long-lived losses.
CC and I have barely acknowledged each other, and although he’s sitting across the aisle, all we’ve shared this morning is one fleeting look. I feel very detached from him. The carefree mood has broken, and that warning bell begins to ring again. I begin to explore what I’d previously denied. What if he’s in a relationship back home? He could even be married. Holiday romances very rarely travel, and although he’s mentioned wanting to see me again, I have no idea when or even if this will happen.
This wrong-foots me when I think of what we’ve shared, and the Grim Reaper escorts me all the way to Annecy.
As the coach rounds the lake however, I get a text from him, and like a broken bird with brand new wings, I flap and fly again.
So many parts of you I need to kiss… Oh. My. God. I couldn’t have written that better if I’d tried. My heart swells and a feeling like warm treacle spreads through my chest.
I SO needed that. I text back. Am feeling weirdly disconnected…xxx
I knew today would be hard for both of us… he replies and for the last two hours of this crazy journey, we send each other funny, tender, sexy messages of love and understanding.
Although we check-in together at Geneva Airport, we fail to get seats side by side. Just before takeoff, unable to stand the uncertainty any longer and terrified of a quick peck goodbye at Gatwick and him disappearing from my life forever, I phone him where he’s sitting somewhere behind me and ask if he will come home with me after we land.
If nothing else…to help carry my case upstairs? Xxx
OK he replies and I could not be happier.
Except for that tiny niggle which I’m trying to ignore...