Wednesday, 31 October 2007

THE DAILY MALE - continues...

During the weekend, Oxbridge texts me but I don't bother to reply. I don’t care about him at all. He hasn’t made me smile or laugh once, so that’s never going to work, is it?

Monday. As I reach the Eurostar terminal to head home, I get a very unexpected text from Finn. He’s the lanky young Kiwi who sort of asked me for money a while back.

‘Back in the country for 10 days before going back to Auckland for good. Would really like to catch up before I go x’ ergo: I could use a fuck.

I notice my battery is low so I prowl the terminal looking for a power point, plug my charger in and stick my wheelie in front of it so the station police won’t see me stealing electricity from the French Government. As the juice is coming in, it’s going right back out again, as I can’t resist texting Finn back.

I tell him I am ‘seeing someone’ to which he replies ‘I understand but no-one has to know’. I say: ‘I would know and I respect my guy too much to do that to him’ making it sound like I’m a decent person or something. I’m actually trying to get him to sit up and beg which he does.

‘We had something that blew my mind so much I hoped we could do it again. You are a real catch - fantastic in bed and I always wanted to be with a woman like u xx.’

Flattery may get him everywhere…

‘I’ll see…' I reply ...'if he pisses me off and I get horny one afternoon, I’ll call you. I do remember you were rather well hung…’

‘Yay! That’s the spirit. I just want to burn it up for old times sake. Can’t wait to see your amazing body again. My package is pretty good but it’s what you do with it that counts. Xxx’

I board the train pondering the fact that unbeknown to him, MLP is on Very Dangerous Ground. Not having even kissed me, never mind anything else, on our last date to that lousy Indian restaurant nearly a week ago, he’s left me textually abandoned all weekend in Paris.

As if picking up on my grumpy vibe, he redeems himself by phoning as the train exits the tunnel on the English side, but my battery is bleeping low so I tell him I’ll call him back when I get home, which I do.

We have a bit of a non-conversation during which it becomes clear he has forgotten our date for next Wednesday night, for which I’ve got some comps to the Canal Café Comedy Club. He says he’s working nights this week (at least he’s working) and promises to ‘try and sor’ somefin’ out’ so we can still get together. As accommodating as ever, I say ‘Don’t worry babe, work comes first’.

I don’t mean it. I should be coming first. At the moment, I’m not coming at all.

Tuesday. At home having a quiet night in - my first in months – I find myself irrevocably drawn to There’s a young chap called Flash Gordon who’s been messaging me a lot, so I give him my number and he texts then calls me.

He sounds like a lot of fun, upbeat and flirty, and he pushes for an immediate meeting. We arrange a daytime drink on Friday afternoon. I also tell him I am ‘currently seeing someone and I won’t two time him’ which is a handy cop-out in case I'm not smitten but don't want to offend.

He says he’d be happy for me to ‘use and abuse him at will’. Hmmm! Things are looking up!

MLP calls me out of the blue, as if he knows I’m up to something. We discuss tomorrow night for which he has managed to free himself, and I return him atop his pedestal.

Wednesday. Knowing he’s worked all night, I text MLP that we don’t have to go to the Comedy Club as planned, but can stay home and I’ll cook. He replies that he is ‘very tyard but not bothered what we do as long as we’re relaxing. im not sure that I’ll be v. responsive tonight anyway’

Brilliant. Just what I needed to hear. My toyboy, who is clearly an old fart in training, wants a good meal placed in front of him before falling asleep on the sofa in front of the tele.

I compose a variety of sniffy texts ranging from:

‘What’s the point in me going out with a 28-yr old if he's going to behave like a 68- yr old?’ to

‘If you’re not going to lick my lips, at least have the sense to read them. You need to keep me sexually satisfied as I’m hardly interested in your brain or your wallet both of which appear to be permanently running on empty’ to

‘I really fancy making love with you tonight so why don’t you take a Viagra and I can bounce up and down on your hard-on while you get some sleep?’

I impulsively send the last one which I hope he receives in the manner in which it was (not) intended, i.e. humour as opposed to barely-concealed criticism.

He doesn't reply...Now he’ll feel under pressure to perform and is bound to disappoint which is not a good way to start the evening...


Jack said...

It comes to something when a 28-year old "stud" can't keep (it) up. Wendy, I just discovered your blog today having finished your book The Toyboy Diaries only last night. I enjoyed it hugely and, like so many other young men out there, wish I could have had some of the opportunities the men you mention in the book had with you. Too many of them seemed ultimately to disappoint...

Wendy Salisbury said...

Hi Jack,

Are you the Jack I already know? Possibly not...but Hi anyway!

I'm so glad you enjoyed the book and thanks so much for the feedback.

It's true that some of the young men have been disappointing but fewer than those who have brought me great joy. And who's to say your wish may not come true??

We haven't met yet, have we?!


Jack said...

Wendy, no, you don't know me and haven't met me, more's the pity. But Hi back to you too!

The book was great (such an easy read - conversational, unpretentious, observant, honest, believable...) and you came across extremely charming. Also smart, cultured, confident, independent, GSOH - all things many of us men find very attractive. Plus sensual and sexual - other things we men find attractive. Phew, that's enough lists! I enjoyed it enough to feel the need to search the internet to see whether you had a website or whether there was any other way to contact you...and here I am!


Wendy Salisbury said...

Wow! Thanks Jack! That's some book review you gave me - would you do me the favour of posting it up on Amazon? It helps sales and I'd be so flattered as you've made such complimentary comments!

Also you can spell and are articulate, a rare treat these days...

I'm curious to see what you look like - you've seen mine and I'd like to see that is! So how would we do that without the whole world, or at least those who read my blog, seeing you as well??

You may not wish to put your private life in the public domain like I have!!


Jack said...

Wendy, I would be delighted to post something on Amazon for you. You deserve it. I will take a look to see what I need to do...

I like being a "rare treat" and am flattered that you are curious to see what I look like! You can delete posts on your blog, can't you? If so, I could just post my email address for you and then you can delete it and email me (assuming you are happy to give me your own email address). Then I will know where to send a photo.

Goodbye for now! It's time for the weekend to start!

Wendy Salisbury said...

Go for it!

Jack said...

Wendy, my email is I hope to hear from you. Jack