VERY SEXPENSIVE!

One of my young chaps and I had discussed the entertainment value of experimenting with Viagra. He, of course, doesn't need it and I've never had to do with it.

They sell it over the counter in Spain so as a little treat, I thought I'd buy us some.

There was a bit of a queue in the pharmacy. An elderly male,a middle-aged woman and young Master Monobrow were serving. As I inched up the line, I prayed I would get either of the first two. Did I? Did I, buffalo!

"Si, senora?" Monobrow asked.

I lowered my voice to little more than a whisper and croaked "Viagra, por favor?"

He looked at me with an expression that said I'll try not to change my expression but I noted pity in his eyes.

"25, 50 and 100 mgs?" he asked in hushed tones.

Bugger! I didn't know it came in soft, medium and hard. I went the middle route and he brought a little box out of a drawer. To give him credit, he kept them concealed in the palm of his hand to spare my blushes.

I wanted to scream: "They're not for me! I don't need them! It's just a joke. My lovers are young and virile and up all night and...and..."

"Cinquenta y tres con noventa, por favor" he requested.

Whaaaat! 53.90 euros? At today's rate? With my reputation? No way, Jose!

I cleared my throat: "Oh. Er. Sorry. I'll er...I'll leave it thank you..." and scuttled away. He shrugged, this time definitely pityingly, probably thinking: Poor Cow! She's not getting any tonight.

I never realized sex was so expensive. What do the poor pensioners do? I hope it's available on the NHS. I'll bring my bus pass next time and see if I can get it free but meanwhile, we'll just have to carry on without the dubious pleasure of fun-enhancing drugs.

I didn't much like JR referring to me as his dealer anyway. Not at my age!